Commitment

Exams are over and a long talk with Gerri Excell has assured me the project is on the right track. All those who have volunteered content have delivered. I am now knee deep into putting it together. The one hour masterpiece is now looking like a 30 minute tightly scripted feature. I have been in touch with Shaw Cable and they are interested in running it when completed. I derive this from the fact that the fellow I spoke with four months ago remembered my name. I am hopeful, this is the season of hope, right?

The momentum Builds

The local turmoil over roadside memorials and it they should have a time limit, take down and replaced with some thing called a "Halo" seems to have fizzled out. The woman who initiated the firestorm with a letter to local council has withdrawn here letter and is contemplating legal actions against the City of Kelowna for having her letter altered the having it published.The issue is a sensitive one.

I managed to get a little more footage connected to the incident and well as a little publicity for the project. Steve McGinnis who will be providing some of the music for the soundtrack has told me that the disc is in the mail. I will be focusing on the editing of the project through the month of December and HOPE to have it in the can by the end of January. I will be shopping the finished product to a local cable company for getting it to air. My aspirations about a wider distribution got a dose of reality not too long ago. Guess I have to start modest and work from there. This topic is serious and needs discussion no matter what medium it takes. It is good to be back at it.

The last great act of deiance.

Personal issues have left my documentary in park at the moment but a move by our local government to take down the roadside memorials and replace them with a "halo" a metal band with the deceased's name and date of death has infuriated me so and has started the ball rolling again. These people just can not seem to accept that their idea of memorializing a loved one doesn't work for everyone. Some people can not bare to think that someone might think outside the box. No pun intended.

It will get done. Again as a result of a letter to our city council asking for these "Eye soars" to be removed, I find myself to have come off the fence and can not be objective in this film's message.

Initially my film was purely to examine the topic and issues around roadside memorials but now I have chosen to direct the film into a pro memorial stance. These are important messages which need to be heeded.

Society seems so afraid when we do something that does not conform and memorials are the most important act of non conformist behavior. The grief and the mourning is about the family, the loved ones and the friends.

The Storm Subsides

The whirlwind which I call August is near at an end with only one more trip to conduct. I am for some reason compelled to let all know, I have not forgotten you and am still on the case.

In the upcoming week, I plan to complete my interviews planned for this production. I will though be starting schooling full time in September but this is where I will begin the writing as well as primary editing.

While in Vancouver, I had the opportunity to chat with a number of people about my project. When they heard that I was working on roadside memorials, it was as if a light suddenly came on and they suddenly internally acknowledged all the memorials they had passed without before giving a second thought.

We all sleepwalk through life to one degree or another and it is my hope that by simply talking with these people that I have disabled the snooze button if only for a moment.

By the way, I totally enjoyed my time at the Justice Institute of BC. The instructors and my fellow students were a breath of fresh air.

Yet another roadblock

Family, don't you love them? Seems that August will be taken up by family manners and my editing platform is "in the mail". Once more at a standstill. I will return from Manitoba late middle of the month then God willing, snag my final two interviews, then the writing begins. I just have this compulsion to tell all those who have helped me to this place I am at that I haven't forsaken the faith and I will make this movie.

Time doesn't march, it gallops

And especially when you have things which need doing. Presently, I have my Mac back and it is working, I say that tongue in cheek. I have to catch up with a number of projects including our holiday footage from February which I still have not put together. I have summer schooling as well as preparation for a journey into the uncharted regions of Manitoba with my father for a visit to see my younger brother. And all this is not even touching my chores at home.

I did interview Janet, the only survivor of a crash which claimed the lives of her husband, younger sister and her boyfriend. Needless to say that the driver of the car that hit them was also killed. Here I learned many things, first of all, the driver that causes the tragedy does not get a memorial. This just seems to be a given in almost all instances. Their family's would rather just forget, or so it seems. This interview has shown me the depth of human strength and devotion. This lady defied medical odds and lived. Every major organ was damaged or burst from the impact and this doesn't even take into account the fracturing of nearly every bone in her body. One of the attending paramedics has since the accident and Janet's miraculous survival gained a profound belief in God as nothing else would account for this woman's survival. Though losing her husband and sister, she continues on despite her disabilities to be a good mother to her two you children who had their father taken from them.


Meeting Janet just makes me even more driven to complete this project. Working this documentary around life is a challenge but nothing like the challenges those left behind face daily. They have patience. I am now looking at an optimistic completion date some time in January. I have a couple more interviews to shoot then I trade the cameraa in for a word processor and the challenges that it will bring.

Getting closer

First of all, I would like to thank Dr. Belshaw for his time yesterday. John Belshaw and his wife, Diane Purvey authored the book, Private Grief, Public Mourning, a scholarly examination of roadside memorials in the province of British Columbia. A professor's time, especially during their off time during the summer is judiciously guarded and I so appreciate his contribution to the project.

Dr. Gerri Exccell of Reading in the UK has also been of great help and inspiration. After watching her documentary, In Loving Memory, recently aired on BBC2, I can see the sensitive scholarly treatment she gives the subject of roadside memorials. Dr. Excell educates the viewer to the multi layered nature of this topic in effect bringing most of us out of the "sleep walker" like state most of us go about our daily lives in. Gerri Excell takes us, for the most part, subconsciously kicking and screaming and reintroduces us to our humanity, our empathic side and the compassion most of us have long since buried. Gerri educated in a way that makes us whole as a people.

Gerri Excell teaches us that death is indeed a pivotal part of life. I encourage everyone to check out her new web site.
gerriexcell.com

The project is nearing completion of principle photography. This will be presenting myself with new challenges. I just now have to await my "New" i7 imac's return from repair.

And the Beat goes on

First, I must applaud Gerri Excell of Reading in the UK for her wonderful and touching documentary "In Loving Memory" aired 7, July on BBC 2. Gerri puts a human face on a subject which many fail to recognize the vast significance of. Roadside memorials are an expression of individuality in a world which demands cookie cutter citizens both in life and in death.

I concluded my interview with a grief councilor just the other day. Through this entire process, I am learning so much more about myself and what it means to be human. I am in the pre interview stage with a young woman who survived a horrendous MVA. She lost her husband, sister as well as a dear friend. After listening to her story of loss and her determination to set right her life, those out there prone to complain about our own adversities should be ashamed, myself included.

Next week I will be speaking with renowned academic John Belshaw. After that I will need only to collect a couple more interviews and principal photography will be completed. Then the next phase of this project will begin.

Again in the right direction

My hats off to Gerri Excell in Reading, UK for her Documentary, "In Loving Memory". The reviews were all in praise. I will see it one way or another.

After my experiences with life throwing curves, things are slowly getting back on track.
I hope to correspond with Gerri and learn from her experience. The interviews are again being scheduled. All the stories are important and deserve a voice.

My special thanks to my dear friend Ivan who gave of his time and friendship to help in my time of need.

Time for me to grab my phone and camera and get back into the field.

Reboot

My father seems to be coming out of the woods but there still remains much to be done.

I have been getting pickup shots with the Lake Country BC Ambulance station as well as having a wonder talk with Linda Woods. I am setting up a time to interview John Belshaw, renown academician on the topic of Roadside Memorials ans well have been in contact with Gerri Excell in the UK who is airing her documentary on the subject on BBC2 tonight. It is good to be back in the saddle.

The Brakes go on

Life has a habit of throwing up speed bumps. Yesterday my father has a brain stem stroke and is in coma. I will be taking a break from the project till things get sorted out. one way or the other.

A personal transformation

My wife say that I have undergone a change while working this project, as if I am searching for something which I am missing. This could be. Over the past few weeks I have been awaiting people to get back to me about submitting interviews. There has been little filming, just a little content here and there. Day after day, no emails. I was frantically checking every day and often numerous times and still nothing. I felt like a junkie looking for the next hit. Very strange.

I have today received two replies to requests for interview and things feel better. A book on the topic of Roadside Memorials arrived yesterday too. I am attempting to get in contact with the authors for their comment. We are slowly creeping forward again.

I heard an interesting quote yesterday which has helped me bring the whole thing into some degree of perspective.
" You do not just happen,.....you become."

A lul

I am discovering that getting the interviews is a large part of the work on this project and I am noticeably uncomfortable when I am not moving forward, ie: shooting and talking with people but this is a personal quirk I best learn to accept. I am working on research and scheduling so I am doing something I guess. I seem to have a topic which resonates with people, I have lots of support and I worry I will not be able to give this project it's due. My wife believes in me and what I am attempting and has no question that I will do nothing but my best.

I do not know whether this constitutes an emotional investment by me in this project. I hope so, I hope it says to anyone whom happens across this blog that I am serious, I think the people that have invested their trust with me, I hope it says to them that I am serious and respect and honor what they have entrusted me with.

It just doesnt stop

My wife and I went for a walk in the local cemetery, It was Father's Day and as one would suspect, the place was relatively busy. It was then I noticed the signs put up by the city. There were the "You will not's , the must no's and the prohbited's" I was amazed at the rules and regulations one must adhere to even in death. One must be orderly and fall into step.

Our walk took us to meet some private contractors working on the restoration of an older part of the cemetery. They were putting in curbing along the pioneer grave section. In the process of our conversation, my wife and I discovered that there are very specific regulations one must follow if they wish to be interned in this cemetery. Your headstone must fit certain dimensional and style criteria, you plot must be maintained by your family and there was to be a certain type of container for flowers. To me it was sounding more and more like a condo and the petty dictators on strata committees.

I am fast understanding why bereaved families so look to memorialize their lost ones in a fashion best for them.

Hey Dude, where's the sunsine

This weekend was intense and warm. Shot a lot of video but alas, real life intervenes.
My final exam week as been moved up a week to this week. Yesterday a real cool seminar, today rain and I have to hit the books hard for the next few days as my finals are Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I do have an interview with the Ministry of Transport on Friday and will be doing the prep for an interview of someone who has a memorial on their property and is uncomfortable with the fact.

The process has just had to slow this week but not halt. Too many people counting on me.

Knowing love

I just arrived home after spending this weekend with two mother both whom have lost children in tragic fashion.I witnessed two entirely different support mechanisms at work, one mother has the support of her family, the other had the support of her community. To go through what they both had to endure without some kind of support network would have been to bare alone. I am happy that there was someone there for them at these trying times. Both are coping and I am constantly amazed at the healing power of love.

Big Day

Been speaking with a lot of people even a police office from Montana. Talk about global reach. Had a discussion with SHAW TV and they are interested in airing the documentary when it is completed. No artificial time constraints. This has turned out to be such an important thing to so many people so I owe them nothing but the best. Am I feeling just a bit of pressure? You bet.

Gradual takeover of my life

Hit the ground running today, I had my interview with the RCMP media relations officer. He was a one take wonder. He was to the point as the force's position and that of his own. They are people too but too many times, I think that the hard ass image police portray works against them in the long run. They are people and need to be cut some slack.

The interview with the paramedics from BC Ambulance Service was deep as we explored all aspects of the project in a pre-interview chat. Chat? This was an hour long introspective but as fate would have it, the two paramedics had to leave on a call. I was not left high and dry as another paramedic agreed to give her take on roadside memorials.

I received an email from Terry Cook whom had been amassing a collection of photos of roadside memorials. He also pointed me to a few web sites for more information. I would like to thank him for his kindness and hope to correspond more with him.

I have checked with Vision TV for their rules on content and also have shopped the project to Shaw TV. The message that this documentary brings will see the light of day.

Powerful

Powerful is the love of a sister, a mother, some who has lost a loved one and will not forget. I just spent the last two hours talking to a lady who had lost her sister to an accident. Her love has not faltered over these years. It is so strong and powerful. I get to meet her and her step mother this weekend for an interview. If this doesn't bring the seriousness of a project home to a person, I don't know what would.

Tomorrow morning I get the RCMP take on roadside memorials and must call BC Ambulance service to arrange an interview. I am just so taken by the reaction of people. This experience is changing my take on human nature. We do actually care about one an other. I am so impressed.

Loss

I am beginning to thing that a portion of this project is personal for me and how I hardened myself and did not allow myself to experience loss when my mother passed away. I will be attending on Sunday the five month memorial for Josie Evans. I hope to get some real personal perspectives from those who have experienced a profound loss and what the purpose the roadside memorial serves for them on the grieving / mourning process.

Tomorrow is the funeral for the young man killed last Sunday. I filmed his memorial.

It pays to check your emails...

I arrived home today and was greeted by an email from the head of Media Relations for the BC Ambulance Service. They have agreed to provide me access to their paramedics. These people are in the front lines and have felt strongly from the early days of this project that their input would be invaluable. Thanks Chris.

A contact note

To those whom I have spoken to and now is not the right time, I understand. Do not worry.
When the time is right I can be contacted at:

thepartingstone@yahoo.ca

I have managed to secure the URLs for when the time comes and I have also secure the rights to some pieces of music that I plan to use in the score. Beginning to come together.

Little victories

I am learning that you need to celebrate all the little victories that you can. Today, one win, one tie and one loss. The CBC Doczone declined my project as it was not a topic current in the minds of Canadians but more of an issue for contemplation. Fair enough. Talked to the BC Ambulance Service and after pleading my case, the have agreed to reconsider my request for access. The win, the Kelowna fire department is on board and I have one interview slated for Monday. Just need to keep at it.

Closer to Home

Last Night our neighbors asked me if I had heard the sirens. I replied that living near a major artery in the city, I have become numb to the noise. Seems last Sunday a young man ended his life with a 160 km/hr impact with a tree. The vehicle came to rest against an apartment building. His parents erected a memorial site. Camera in hand I went to the site, it was a mere half a block away. I must have heard it. Among the flowers there was still pieces of the broken car. Broken car, broken souls, broken hearts, broken lives. While taking some low angle shots I could still smell the gasoline from the ruptured fuel tank. This is getting closer to home every day I work on this.

All Consuming

Today I booked an interview with a spokesperson from the Ministry of Transport. He seems really into it, I think he is just happy to get out of his office. Thought that I would contact the fire department. Talked to the Deputy Chief and he liked the idea and would try to set an interview up for me. The talk would be about really feelings and just not the "Company line". Next week is going to be busy with interviews and seminars. Wednesday I will go after the media relations person in BC Ambulance Services to see what her problem really is.

I am learning that there is an art to cultivating an interview. Have to address some technical issues with the new Mac as it likes too crash when I import music but this will not stop me merely increase my profanity vocabulary exponentially.

Need t be a better Jedi

I know that patience will yield a fine product but today I shot some green screen footage, conducted one interview and lined up yet another. I had to begin to assemble some footage. I am very happy with what I see. I ran it past my best friend, toughest critic, my wife and she was duly impressed. I would say, this is a good omen. I introduced myself the the song writer Steve McGinnes via email and hope he believes in the project as much as I do.

Message from Above

Last night Steve McGinnes fired me an email about his song, "Roses by the Roadside".
Wow, I never thought nor dared hope he would contact me. Out of the blue, I see his work on Youtube and through a Hail Mary Pass and he is there. I hope he grants me permission as I think the contribution the song would make to the project would be huge.

Yes, and last night I went to what a friend described as a church youth group gathering in search of stories for my project and what I discovered was not the case. There over 100 people there. It was church and contrary to what those who know me think, I did not burst into flames when I came through the door. I met many nice people who would have loved to have helped but alas, none had any tragic tales to share. In a way that is a good thing. This project is teaching me patience and the value of giving something it's due care. When all is said and done, post production and editing will likely be in the range of 100 hours. But now I need focus on the content and the story.

Unreachable

Found this wonder tune on Youtube and I have no idea how to get in touch with the writer.
Frustrating.If any one out there has any ideas, please let me know.This tune would be so perfect, I think.

thepartingstone@yahoo.ca

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsLDRZ_tYeU

Sucsesses

The RCMP have agreed to be interviewed, Clare Jentzen of Springfield Funeral Chapel has provided a very effective interview. I interviewed Tom Wilson from the City of Kelowna contributed the City's view on roadside memorials. The socilolgy professor from UBC is away in Europe and will be contacting me on his return.

Speed Bumps

The Media Relations department of the BC Ambulance Service had forbid it's members to participate in the project. All I wanted was their feelings as human beings who have to deal with the carnage on the road ways. But, as always, I don not give up without a fight. Wednesday I am scheduled to call the Media Relations people at the Ambulance service and ask them how comfortable they will be with a "Refused comment" reference.

The interviews as a whole are going well. I need to make inroads with the families and friends of those who have lost loved ones and have erected roadside monuments. I have some leads. This project is getting legs. Today I was outside gathering traffic footage.

Yes, I did get a high visibility vest.

In the Begining......

My name is Brian Dycke and I am a Kelowna based independent film maker doing a documentary on roadside memorials. These markers all have stories to tell and hold social implication.
I want to hear your story:
I can be contacted at: the_partingstone@yahoo.ca

This how it all began. I had heard a documentary on Roadside Memorials on CBC radio and thought to myself, there must be more to this subject than a short radio piece and so began my research. On discovering the depth and complexity of the subject, it was then I chose to create a documentary film. I had no idea as to how great the scope of subject would be.