A personal transformation

My wife say that I have undergone a change while working this project, as if I am searching for something which I am missing. This could be. Over the past few weeks I have been awaiting people to get back to me about submitting interviews. There has been little filming, just a little content here and there. Day after day, no emails. I was frantically checking every day and often numerous times and still nothing. I felt like a junkie looking for the next hit. Very strange.

I have today received two replies to requests for interview and things feel better. A book on the topic of Roadside Memorials arrived yesterday too. I am attempting to get in contact with the authors for their comment. We are slowly creeping forward again.

I heard an interesting quote yesterday which has helped me bring the whole thing into some degree of perspective.
" You do not just happen,.....you become."

A lul

I am discovering that getting the interviews is a large part of the work on this project and I am noticeably uncomfortable when I am not moving forward, ie: shooting and talking with people but this is a personal quirk I best learn to accept. I am working on research and scheduling so I am doing something I guess. I seem to have a topic which resonates with people, I have lots of support and I worry I will not be able to give this project it's due. My wife believes in me and what I am attempting and has no question that I will do nothing but my best.

I do not know whether this constitutes an emotional investment by me in this project. I hope so, I hope it says to anyone whom happens across this blog that I am serious, I think the people that have invested their trust with me, I hope it says to them that I am serious and respect and honor what they have entrusted me with.

It just doesnt stop

My wife and I went for a walk in the local cemetery, It was Father's Day and as one would suspect, the place was relatively busy. It was then I noticed the signs put up by the city. There were the "You will not's , the must no's and the prohbited's" I was amazed at the rules and regulations one must adhere to even in death. One must be orderly and fall into step.

Our walk took us to meet some private contractors working on the restoration of an older part of the cemetery. They were putting in curbing along the pioneer grave section. In the process of our conversation, my wife and I discovered that there are very specific regulations one must follow if they wish to be interned in this cemetery. Your headstone must fit certain dimensional and style criteria, you plot must be maintained by your family and there was to be a certain type of container for flowers. To me it was sounding more and more like a condo and the petty dictators on strata committees.

I am fast understanding why bereaved families so look to memorialize their lost ones in a fashion best for them.

Hey Dude, where's the sunsine

This weekend was intense and warm. Shot a lot of video but alas, real life intervenes.
My final exam week as been moved up a week to this week. Yesterday a real cool seminar, today rain and I have to hit the books hard for the next few days as my finals are Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I do have an interview with the Ministry of Transport on Friday and will be doing the prep for an interview of someone who has a memorial on their property and is uncomfortable with the fact.

The process has just had to slow this week but not halt. Too many people counting on me.

Knowing love

I just arrived home after spending this weekend with two mother both whom have lost children in tragic fashion.I witnessed two entirely different support mechanisms at work, one mother has the support of her family, the other had the support of her community. To go through what they both had to endure without some kind of support network would have been to bare alone. I am happy that there was someone there for them at these trying times. Both are coping and I am constantly amazed at the healing power of love.

Big Day

Been speaking with a lot of people even a police office from Montana. Talk about global reach. Had a discussion with SHAW TV and they are interested in airing the documentary when it is completed. No artificial time constraints. This has turned out to be such an important thing to so many people so I owe them nothing but the best. Am I feeling just a bit of pressure? You bet.

Gradual takeover of my life

Hit the ground running today, I had my interview with the RCMP media relations officer. He was a one take wonder. He was to the point as the force's position and that of his own. They are people too but too many times, I think that the hard ass image police portray works against them in the long run. They are people and need to be cut some slack.

The interview with the paramedics from BC Ambulance Service was deep as we explored all aspects of the project in a pre-interview chat. Chat? This was an hour long introspective but as fate would have it, the two paramedics had to leave on a call. I was not left high and dry as another paramedic agreed to give her take on roadside memorials.

I received an email from Terry Cook whom had been amassing a collection of photos of roadside memorials. He also pointed me to a few web sites for more information. I would like to thank him for his kindness and hope to correspond more with him.

I have checked with Vision TV for their rules on content and also have shopped the project to Shaw TV. The message that this documentary brings will see the light of day.

Powerful

Powerful is the love of a sister, a mother, some who has lost a loved one and will not forget. I just spent the last two hours talking to a lady who had lost her sister to an accident. Her love has not faltered over these years. It is so strong and powerful. I get to meet her and her step mother this weekend for an interview. If this doesn't bring the seriousness of a project home to a person, I don't know what would.

Tomorrow morning I get the RCMP take on roadside memorials and must call BC Ambulance service to arrange an interview. I am just so taken by the reaction of people. This experience is changing my take on human nature. We do actually care about one an other. I am so impressed.

Loss

I am beginning to thing that a portion of this project is personal for me and how I hardened myself and did not allow myself to experience loss when my mother passed away. I will be attending on Sunday the five month memorial for Josie Evans. I hope to get some real personal perspectives from those who have experienced a profound loss and what the purpose the roadside memorial serves for them on the grieving / mourning process.

Tomorrow is the funeral for the young man killed last Sunday. I filmed his memorial.

It pays to check your emails...

I arrived home today and was greeted by an email from the head of Media Relations for the BC Ambulance Service. They have agreed to provide me access to their paramedics. These people are in the front lines and have felt strongly from the early days of this project that their input would be invaluable. Thanks Chris.

A contact note

To those whom I have spoken to and now is not the right time, I understand. Do not worry.
When the time is right I can be contacted at:

thepartingstone@yahoo.ca

I have managed to secure the URLs for when the time comes and I have also secure the rights to some pieces of music that I plan to use in the score. Beginning to come together.

Little victories

I am learning that you need to celebrate all the little victories that you can. Today, one win, one tie and one loss. The CBC Doczone declined my project as it was not a topic current in the minds of Canadians but more of an issue for contemplation. Fair enough. Talked to the BC Ambulance Service and after pleading my case, the have agreed to reconsider my request for access. The win, the Kelowna fire department is on board and I have one interview slated for Monday. Just need to keep at it.

Closer to Home

Last Night our neighbors asked me if I had heard the sirens. I replied that living near a major artery in the city, I have become numb to the noise. Seems last Sunday a young man ended his life with a 160 km/hr impact with a tree. The vehicle came to rest against an apartment building. His parents erected a memorial site. Camera in hand I went to the site, it was a mere half a block away. I must have heard it. Among the flowers there was still pieces of the broken car. Broken car, broken souls, broken hearts, broken lives. While taking some low angle shots I could still smell the gasoline from the ruptured fuel tank. This is getting closer to home every day I work on this.

All Consuming

Today I booked an interview with a spokesperson from the Ministry of Transport. He seems really into it, I think he is just happy to get out of his office. Thought that I would contact the fire department. Talked to the Deputy Chief and he liked the idea and would try to set an interview up for me. The talk would be about really feelings and just not the "Company line". Next week is going to be busy with interviews and seminars. Wednesday I will go after the media relations person in BC Ambulance Services to see what her problem really is.

I am learning that there is an art to cultivating an interview. Have to address some technical issues with the new Mac as it likes too crash when I import music but this will not stop me merely increase my profanity vocabulary exponentially.